Menstrual Flow Painting

This was scanned from my moon journal. It's finally dried from painting it late Friday night. As you can see from the Sponge Out series, the painting began very vaguely, with a few strong drops straight from my bleeding cunt to the right side of the page. Then on the left side of the page I made prints with the curves of my pussy and ass. As I went along the woman on the left emerged. She seems to be entering a whole new dimension of life, but she must first break through and penetrate that blood barrier.

- May Ling Su posted it @ 12:35 AM
Wednesday, 26 November 2003

Cycles

This month's body painting is more sparse than usual, and took place in my bathroom, instead of the usual playroom/outdoors scene. It's cold out, and so much is going on in my life right now. I wanted something simple and concise. I thought of cycles. The natural rhythm of life is cyclical. Right now I feel this cycle in my life ending. I feel the change coming. I have to keep my head together, be ready for a new beginning.

- May Ling Su posted it @ 10:20 PM
Sunday, 23 November 2003

Menstrual Sex, the ultimate taboo

I went for a walk with Jay today. It's cold as a witch's teat out. We're both bundled up briskly walking, when I felt a huge gush of warm thick moisture where my thighs meet. I pulled Jay's arm. "I'm gushing... slow down..."

He offered me some paper napkins, kept in coat pockets from previous meals out. "No, thanks... I don't think I'm as out of control as I feel." I touched my palm on the back of my dark jeans. It's dry. I've got a soaked sponge inside me, and a long pandora pad. I'll make it home without leaving a trail of blood. We laughed at the melodrama. "Trail of truth... the freedom of speech tour!"

I still can't believe On My Period was considered too obscene by the people at CCBill, and the whole porn industry governed by Visa. Even Taboo magazine wouldn't touch menstrual sex. Last time they had a whole layout and even a cover depicting menstruation fetish was 1999. Apparently Larry Flynt hired a new lawyer to protect him from the current government's lynching, and menstruation sex is definitely on the list of things too taboo for Taboo at this time.

I am trying to understand the cause of this repression. It could not be a safety and health issue. Menstruation is a naturally occuring and cyclical part of a childbearing woman's life. Menstrual blood is what would have been a fetus' bed and source of nutrition. It is clean, and chemically composed of water, sugars and iron.

Current society seems to encourage procreation. Everywhere we look, there's pregnant celebrities and old people having sex on TV. Is it possible that menstruation is frowned upon because it's the symptom of a childless month? It seems a society that worships fertility and abundance so much should honor this dark but intrinsic part of the cycle of life.

But I guess "the world of man" has always been at odds with nature. Society cultivates a world of deprivation, rather than a world of abundance. To control the wealth and resources of the world, the select few must keep the masses poor so they can be manipulated into working for low wages. This is what the history of civilization has taught us over and over.

In the microcosm of a contemporary woman's life, "the world of man" would rather she depend on birth control pills, use disposable sanitary products, and then when ready to procreate, use fertility pills to bring on her reproductive functions. Not only is she an active consumer, she is also a productive member of the workforce all four weeks of the month. This is a lifestyle that promotes the economy. To keep her in this regimen, she must be brainwashed into thinking that anything beyond this is too difficult to do, or too weird. She is not taught about her supernatural connection to the moon. Instead she is taught that her period is shameful, disgusting, even sinful. It is this monthly ritual of suppressing her power that has kept women subservient throughout the patriarchal ages.

I am lucky to have a man so supportive of my monthly exploration. But he is not a willing participant in it. I often feel like I'm imposing on him when I ask him to photograph me on my flow. He equates the sight of blood with pain, and somehow this gets in the way of his enjoying it with me. The strong fishy smell repels him too.

Maybe there really is no conspiracy to keep women submissive. Maybe it's as simple as a collective repulsion men can neither fight nor overcome. And since we are living in "a man's world," this is the prevailing attitude toward the menstrual flow.

It is thus up to me to empower myself. My own sense of self-worth will not be handed to me on a silver platter by "the world of man." I accept men's weakness in the face of my flow. I understand his fear in seeing my feminine power depicted in all its glory. I feel beautiful and sexy on my period. I will not pretend this part of my life does not exist, simply because the corporate world denies its validity. After all, they're just a bunch of men.

- May Ling Su posted it @ 12:04 AM
Saturday, 22 November 2003

Red Dress

I felt myself bleeding at the vet's today. I was wearing a pair of red ultrasuede pants. I guess I knew I was about to bleed, although this was only Day 27. The dark moon is on Sunday.

I came home, pulled my panties down at the toilet. Yup. The red flag is up.

I pulled my pants off, inspected the crotch. No stain... I sniffed the crotch. Ah! there! I scrubbed my panties and my pants crotch in the bathroom sink. Dr. Bronner's peppermint diluted.

I walked into the living room naked from the waist down. In a heap of clutter, I found my red woven tapis from the Ifugao mountains. I'm just going to let myself bleed for a little while, just the way my ancestors did. It's still pretty light, just a few thin stains on my thighs.

Jay commented on my red dress. Lady in red... red lipstick... these sexy references to the menstruating woman. I'll tell you why menstruating women are sexy... It's as basic as fertility. Menstruating women are of childbearing age. We have a sexuality. We are sexy!

It's been true for the ancient civilizations. No matter how it's been suppressed by the patriarchal Judeo-Christian-Muslim world, images of the menstruating woman creeps into our present life, subtly, like a red lipstick, or a red dress.

- May Ling Su posted it @ 09:15 PM
Thursday, 20 November 2003

Menstrual Fear Grips the Porn Industry

I got an email from CCBill informing me that they have taken the On My Period Monthly Members Area down. They said I was in violation of their Acceptable Use Policy.

As I combed through their AUP page, I could not find where it said that depicting menstruation was against their policy. I can understand taking child porn, bestiality and scat sites down. But a woman's documentation of her monthly flow cannot possibly be as offensive as the above.

Talking on the phone with the people at CCBill, they explained to me that it falls under the bodily fluids and excretions clause. I asked them if they still provide services to sites containing male ejaculation. "Yes," he answered, "but that's different."

"How is it different?" I asked. "Sounds to me like sexual discrimination."

"I don't want to have a semantics argument with you," one of them started.

"No, you don't," I answered. "You won't win."

Honestly, I didn't really expect CCBill to stick their necks out for me. I'm just a tiny percentage of their income. I know that the government is putting a lot of pressure on the adult industry, and they have to do what they can to protect their business.

So what's next? I'm moving forward, working on other ways to creatively explore my period. OnMyPeriod.com is now a 100% FREE site. I'm FREE to express my femininity, and you are FREE to see as much of it as you want.

- May Ling Su posted it @ 01:00 AM
Friday, 14 November 2003